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I like to have the Martha Stewart Show on in the background in the mornings. I don’t know why, I’m too lazy to go plant swiss chard in the backyard or make a chocolate ganache, but I like to think maybe some of what she says will stick in my head and I can use those stored skills later.
As you may know, I live in Charleston now and they have their own show lineup, as do other affiliates across the country. Locally, the Martha Stewart show, for who knows what reason, is followed by Jerry Springer.
Do viewers who watch Martha stay tuned in for Jerry? Or do all the trailer trash wake up at 11am and look for their daily dose of Jerry? Maybe it’s a way to improve the lives of the Jerry viewers- they might tune in a bit early and catch the tail end of Martha? What the hell? I just can’t wrap my head around it. I feel like I should call Martha and tattle on this local station, so she knows she is opening for Jerry!
In other news, Krisann headed off to the beach this morning. Bitch. I have an interview at 2pm so I have to stay behind. I bought the cutest bathing suit ever sewn last night at Belk’s! It’s Juicy Couture, bright red one-piece ruffled swimdress.
It certainly isn’t my traditional bikini but when I tried it on I just couldn’t pass it up! Plus it was like 70% off! They had so many suits there that I would have loved to buy but this one definately stood out.
We were shopping to find a dress for me to wear to the Khaki Ball, I found several nice ones at White House Black Market but I haven’t decided yet. I want Peter to have some input as well.
So we caught them at the Charleston Pourhouse last night, it was a great show! We danced the night away, right up front. The brass section had choreographed every song and they swayed and dipped to the beat, it was hilarious to watch. The drummer’s glasses kept falling off his nose and after a few minutes of headbanging, they’d fly off his face. He’d magically be wearing them by the next song. Joe Lewis was amazing- great voice. They played continuously and all the songs were so upbeat and wild, I don’t know how you couldn’t dance while listening to it.
Krisann and I were initially stuck behind a group of girls, one of which was really large but she had no concept of her size and kept backing into our faces or into other people. Then that group got shoved out of the way by a bunch of very young, demonstrative lesbians who insisted on dancing all over top of everyone around like they were trying to start something. Finally we were surprised to find an odd couple move right in front of us. The couple consisted of a tall, hot, young blonde foreign-exchange student-looking girl (complete with braids around the front of her lovely crown of hair) and a tall, lumpy, very unattractive dude with mossy looking facial hair. They danced all the others out of the way and kept showing up everywhere, even when we went outside to smoke. Also, we saw Tobias (from Arrested Development) there!
Actually, it was just a really dorky guy who looked sadly out of place but got the front and center-most spot to ‘stand’ in the whole place. While the young girls and the odd couple danced all over he just stood there and took pictures of the band, and, weirdly, the crowd.
When the show was over two guys approached us while we finished our beers. One ended up getting Joe Lewis’ autograph on the towel he had used on stage all night then gave it right up to Krisann and I. Then Krisann talked to Joe Lewis!! She also talked to the saxophonist and I congratulated another member of the brass section. We also ripped of f a poster from the bar and Krisann got a rooster sticker from someone she doesn’t remember. Overall, we had a blast.
The only thing that sucked was that it was a 40 minute drive to that bar from our house. We had to take a huge detour also because the bridge that goes to Folly Beach was completely closed so we had to go to Charleston then back to James Island.
So I dropped Peter off at the airport yesterday morning for his trip to Boston. He is going to the USS Constitution to spend the week on the boat. It is the oldest warship afloat in the world and it’s beautiful. It looks like a big sailboat and there are tours given daily throughout the year by active duty sailors.
This week, Peter will join other Chief selects from across the country to learn to sail the ship. They will sleep, eat and work out on the ship then sail it. I haven’t talked to him yet but he was really excited before he left. He actually expressed that he was excited and he felt that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he wouldn’t miss it.
He’s taken my camera and understands that I expect to see photos when he returns so as soon as I get my hands on them I’ll post them for all to see!
http://www.history.navy.mil/USSconstitution/index.html
Until then, here are a few I found online to give you an idea what it looks like
Krisann is heading out to her hula hooping class (every Tuesday for 6 weeks then we’ll ship her off to the circus) then we’re going to see Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears at Charleston’s Pourhouse tonight. Should be a good time!
Happy belated Fourth of July! Krisann and Peter and I attended a party at a neighbor of mom’s. The food was amazing- everyone brought food then the host made something called Lowcountry Boil. This included shrimp, crawfish, corn, sausage, and I forget the rest, which was all boiled together and seasoned. Mmmm! Mom made her famous potato salad and orange cookies while Krisann made three bean & avocado dip. Everything was delicious. After the food, everyone broke out fireworks, which to a Pennsylvanian, doesn’t mean certain death. No certain death, only a small percentage of death.
Here in South Carolina, any person can buy any kind of firework, including the big professional ones. Here is a table of legal and permit-only fireworks; I found the info from various websites
| Type of Firework | South Carolina | Pennsylvania |
| Bottle Rockets: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Sky Rockets: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Roman Candles: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Firecrackers: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Sparklers: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Smoke and Punk: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Fountains: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Missiles: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Novelties: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Crackle and Strobe: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Parachutes: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Wheels and Spinners: | Legally Allowed | Legally Allowed |
| Sky Flyers: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Display Shells: | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
| Aerial Items (Cakes): | Legally Allowed | With permit only |
Impressive, huh? Sounds like it would be a ton of fun? Wuh-RONG! With this amazing freedom comes a lot of responsibility and South Carolinians have none! Every cul-de-sac is packed with people setting them off all night. At our party, everyone there took part in setting off the fireworks including all the adults who had been drinking, their children, despite being 5 or 6 years old in some cases, teens who wandered over from a few houses over. It was a fire-starting free-for-all! The three of us sat, stunned, with Mom & Frank until a teenage girl set off a small mortar that fell over, and shot towards the crowd. One flew into Peter’s face, hitting him in the corner of his eye. Luckily, no damage was done! The bottles used for bottlerockets weren’t cutting it so pipes were cut and inserted into the ground to send them straight up.
The larger mortars were set off from the ground until a plastic folding table was brought out to set them on. Because what’s more stable and stationary than the paved road? A lightweight plastic folding table! The mortars were set on top and firework after firework was inserted and set off, and after each one went off the shock blew the table off the ground and it folded in half, landing half standing/half folded. The fireworks were the huge, loud ones that explode into a giant circle- just like the professionals set off in PA. Some barely made it out of the mortars before exploding and others exploded inside the mortars. People set them off right next to each other, while teens lit the mortars, children blew up strings of them on the pavement behind them. There was no specified ‘area’ for setting them off- wherever anyone felt was fine, whenever they wanted.
After a couple hours of this mayhem, a 7-8 year old boy was bored and found a lighter and crawled around on the ground, looking for pieces of unexploded fireworks to relight. After finding and lighting one that went back out, he leaned in real close to blow on it and fan the flames and it worked after a few minutes. Somehow his face wasn’t blown off. They set them off with their heads over top of the mortars to see better since it was so dark outside. Several people got burned while rockets flew into people’s houses, cars, chairs and fence. We grew tired of the close calls and left early.
Overall, no major person or property damage happened. I don’t know what kind of injuries and damages were caused in this state overall but I’m guessing it’s a large amount. My mind isn’t made up whether it is a bad thing or not that citizens here have this much of a choice. Certainly a more mature approach to using them would include a decision to set a few rules before beginning the night to protect people’s children at the very least. Most of the fireworks that night went off properly and were absolutely amazing, just like they should be and I am thankful for that although next year, we may be attending a local park to watch the professionals do it instead.
1. Our new place. It’s a single story but only 500 sf less than our townhouse. It’s got a big fenced-in backyard and a detached garage for both our cars. With Krisann here, we’ve got 4 cats and Atticus. It’s like a zoo!
2. Dining Room. The owners have great taste and the room already had paneling and red walls plus that adorable chandelier. It’s beautiful.
3. Living room is comfortable, with a wood burning fireplace. The flat screen was the very first thing to go up on our walls when we moved in.
4. Peter and Pablo. I am Pablo’s favorite but he seemed awfully comfortable on Peter that night. He is the silliest little cat- we call him ‘Bigfoot’ for obvious reasons.
5. He follows me wherever I go. When I wake up in the mornings, he is in one sink bowl while I brush my teeth in the other.
6. Krisann is turning into the crazy cat lady. That’s Emerson wrapped up like a baby. Nice.
7. We went out to eat at Shem Creek and afterwards got drinks a couple weeks back. There were dolphins and pelicans everywhere!
8. There are so many frogs here, you wouldn’t believe it. They are everywhere.
9. The cats enjoy the frogs too.
I’ll start out by apologizing about the unintentional hiatus. Sorry about that, it’s been a little busy occasionally or I just wasn’t feeling creative enough to write. But the feeling’s returned.
Peter and I are now settled in to our new place in Charleston, SC. Krisann lives here with us (for now) along with the doggy, her two cats and our TWO cats. Unfortunately Nico hasn’t returned but we found a new kitty whom we adopted and call Pablo so we’re back to two cats. Surprisingly, he looks similar to Nico with a gray and black tabby coat. He is tiny for now with two large white-socked back feet. I think he is under a year old and when we found him he wasn’t neutered, had worms and fleas but he was so lovable we just couldn’t leave him at a shelter. We packed him up and made Krisann drive him down with the other cats. He’s since been neutered, dewormed and deflea’d. Now he is a typical kitten, going everywhere he shouldn’t (his favorite sleeping place is in the middle of my favorite tropical plant, causing all the leaves to droop and branches to crack), eating or drinking anything he comes into contact with and demanding attention whenever he pleases (he never leaves me alone in the bathroom, it’s like a guaranteed lap for him). Plus, I’m his favorite! He looks for me, steps over Peter, Krisann, whoever is in the way so he can get to me. He’s my little baby!
Peter is qualifying, doing tests and going to classes in preparation for his teaching job in September. He isn’t crazy about what he is stuck doing now but he’s coping. He cooked a nice Father’s Day dinner for Frank last Thursday (I thought Father’s Day was this past Sunday, turns out I was a week early). He misses being able to work on the house but now we have a yard and he is trying really hard to keep it green.
I interviewed today for a job I really really really really really want. They said they’d get back to me Friday with news-good bad or second interview. Will update when I can! Tomorrow, Krisann & I are thinking of going to the beach or doing something since she has off. Museum, library, biking, who knows?
If you get the chanel BBC America, so yourself a favor and watch Top Gear. New episodes are on Monday nights at 8pm.
This show is about cars. I know it sounds boring, but the three hosts (ages 35-55) are not just hilarious but the producers give them ridiculous challenges each week. So in addition to reviewing and racing some of the most expensive cars on Earth, they do stupid challenges like make their own electric car out of spare parts for other machines.
I am watching an older episode now where there is a 5 part challenge. They don’t know what the challenges ahead of them are.
Step 1: Pretend they’re 17 year old boys and buy & insure a car with only 2500 pounds. Once they have it, meet at the schoolyard.
Step 2. Using whatever money they have leftover, customize the car to impress 17 year old girls. Jeremy didn’t have any money leftover. James bought a nice stereo and Richard got a body kit. Drive to festival grounds 60 km away. (on the way, when James stops to “wee” Richard & Jeremy change out his Bach cd for some loud, obnoxious crap music and super glue all the buttons on his new stereo then steal the remote)
Step 3. The challenge involves what would have been a crazy music fest weekend of camping & mud. They simply pack all the tents & supplies in their respective cars and get out to the top of the car park- an easy race. But, the festival grounds are wet and the cars slip and slide up the hill for hours.
Step 4. Arrive home 3 hours after your curfew and don’t wake your parents up! Richard is successful pushing his S-coupe, Jeremy’s Volvo is so heavy he accidentally pushes it into the shed and James’ VW si so quiet he drives it into the driveway then jsut as he is about to win, Jeremy uses the remote to turn his radio back on full blast.
Step 5. Race around the track, hitting every obstacle in your path, impress 17 year old girls with your hand-brake turn, whoever does it the fastest wins the race.
I won’t tell you who wins because it is such a shock… jsut watch the show already. In addition to learning a little about cars and laughing your ass off, you’ll learn hilarious Brit phrases like, ” It is much like a Scottish Restaurant menu. Not a lot in it and nothing you want.” Do you know what quid is? Or that a boot is part of a car, not you wear on your foot?
Note to Krisann: I am making you watch this episode when you get home tonight. You WILL love this show. -your tumor.
It’s finally worked- the laser-exact aim of mmy personal gravitational pull which I have been focusinng on a very specific person for all of the 8 years I have lived in this state has finally succeeded in getting results. Krisann is moving down here!!!!!
In preparation for this momentous occasion, Peter has fled the house, vowing never to return (for at least 6 months) Nico has taken off in fear, (if you’re religious, you better be praying for her safe return.) I have been filling the dresser in the guest room with cllothing I think she will enjoy. She requested that I place a stocking on the fireplace for her, which I am more than happy to do. Except I packed up all the christmas stuff and Peter put it away in the attic before he left so I don’t have any stockings left. So I offered to hang an old sock up there and she had the balls to sneer in my face (over the google chat.)
She is mostly packed up and Should be moving down at the end of the month.
We are going on vacation tomorrow and we are sooo excited! Peter and I packed most of our stuff last night- we will be in a king size room on the second floor of a giant, oceanfront mega-mansion on the 4×4 beaches of the Outer Banks. The place has a pool, hot tub, three stories of decks, 2 outdoor showers, a pool table, a bathroom for each and every one of the hundreds of bedrooms and did i mention it’s oceanfront???
Ok, so this takes much planning and list-making. I have assembled a booklet of my packing lists and Krisann’s packing lists so that we may eliminate any duplicate packing. I came up with the idea of leaving Peter with his own bathroom (the one attached to our bedroom) and sharing Krisann’s bathroom since we share everything when we’re together anyway. We need to get ready together every morning, she has all the eyebrow preening supplies and I have all the nail care supplies. We have had dozens of google chat conversations, sent text messages, discussed this at length over the phone for the last month and it is now the moment we have been preparing for…we are finally packing.
I know what I am bringing and she knows what she is bringing. We know each other’s belongings so well that we ask the other to bring specific things, for instance: she asked me to bring a bunch of sunhats. I thought of the one that I own that matches my bathing suit and was about to type that I only had one when I realized she was right! I have another 5-6 in the closet in a box that I completely forgot about. If it wasn’t for her I would have forgotten the others and would have been stuck with only one hat all week.
She leaves with the family tonight and since we live so close, Peter and I will leave tomorrow morning some time.
Weather outlook, according to NOAA’s National Weather Service is good until Wednesday when there is a 30-40% chance of thunderstorms. Atticus will be at the kennel all week and the cats will jsut hang out by themselves. Shaun will be returning to the country while we are on vacation so he will be there for them.
A friend of Peter’s will be trading us his 4×4 pickup for my jeep next week so we can get to the house. I am looking forward to taking a week off and just relaxing.

















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